Have you ever realized that each attention you put into something is going to play an immediate role that stays inside your body? This means the capacity of your mind has been through will play an immediate role in how you choose to show up for yourself.
Welcome back to this article about how to show up as the best version of yourself by simply practicing the identity that came from your own belief.
Showing up for yourselves, which I’ve recently learned, was never about paying attention to the outside world but rather about living in alignment between how intentionally you choose to let your mind think and working in your favor. Showing up for yourself can be as simple as choosing to take yourself for a long walk, rather than letting your mind consume the way you think about yourself that was deep down you knew you didn’t deserve to think and feel this way. Or when you’ve just had a massive mental breakdown, rather than dwelling on it, you choose to nurture and nourish your soul gently. In the way you choose to speak words that blossom, not words that decay.
I have recently experienced grief. The type of experience where I have zero control to fix it, rather than just see the thing for the way it was. And to be honest, this experience does something inside of me. That emptiness and overwhelm that my system has never been prepared for. The type of situation that made me just want to stay in bed all day. The internal feeling of hoping things changed or got back to the way they were that stuck inside my heart and mind. The intrusive and random thoughts that started to crawl in the nighttime before I slept.
However, before this chapter arrived, the amount of practicing the identity that I’ve been doing in my life is what put me back into the present moment. The minute I opened my eyes with that old sensation inside, but the stronger role that taught me to wake the hell up and let’s go for a walk. And during that walk, it did something in me. The rhythm of moving forward itself started to appear back into my consciousness. The feeling of how I always feel when I do my walk started to put me back into the present moment.
All the beautiful things and beliefs that I’ve repetitively infused myself with started to bubble up inside my body. It makes me feel a little bit better; in a way, life just showed me another proof of “all things shall pass,” and this perhaps is the real test of how much practice and embodiment you’ve been doing during that “void.” Perhaps it is for this right now, there, in front of your eyes, that needed to be fixed. Not through more motivation, but rather to be there for myself right now, through the action that I choose to do at this moment. That’s how I learned that to show love and care for myself is through nourishing back the mind and heart with the new beginning sense of movement.
When this chapter exists through me, I have learned to tune in to my emotions more. Not to become something that helps me dictate what was happening or my reaction, but it was more about human nature that can metabolize my own emotions and move on. I learned about part of me who currently experiences a vulnerable moment without letting her think the world has collapsed, but rather to grow and become someone stronger than it used to be. If you don’t know what unexpected chapter that I’ve been talking about, I wrote this article when it appeared through me:
The Chapter I Never Wanted to Write
This article I specifically created for the love of my life. My dad. My superhero. My everything. My spiritual guru. Everything in one, I will say.
I learned to let this feeling become so visible that I can fully express these emotions right now. By expressing this emotion without letting myself be distracted, rather than sitting with this uncomfortable feeling until the nervous system can fully understand that this was not who I am anymore and integrate into a more aligned intention of the role that I choose for myself.
To let yourself know that being in a vulnerable state is safe and normal. And for me, vulnerable means when I learn to fully accept the situation without letting my ego get in the way. It means not letting my mind make me feel I wish I could do more, or just trying to solve something that has been moved through me.
It taught me one important lesson: to stay in the role, not when nothing is happening, or when things are completely normal as a sense of “comfort”, but whenever and wherever life shows me something, I can still recognize who I truly am by not putting myself inside that moment that has not served any purpose in my life anymore. To not let memories, meaning, and emotions that are no longer here right now stop you from seeing the life that you still haven’t experienced to the fullest yet.
When I said “future role,” it meant it was never coming from just something that your mind has been expecting to happen; rather, it was the inner capacity that your character can hold no matter what season you currently have in your life. That strong container inside your system that can make your inner character able to continuously show up for your future. The future role that is within you that you choose to put inside of your life’s existence now.
So, it was never about how many words of affirmation you keep repeating to yourself or the vision board that you decorated with all the pictures, but the strong availability of what your inner character has in terms of how you can keep showing up for yourself. Showing up in a way of keeping embodied the role through repetition of the belief about who you are right now.
The key here is to make that belief come alive in the real world, which means in your own life that is currently moving through you. It can be to take that unfamiliar decision, stop tolerating something that was not nourishing your body and mind, to have the courage to leave the environment that is no longer serving you, and to take that job without any hesitation. It can be anything, but it’s through how you choose that unfamiliar movement until it becomes your new normal. Normal means you no longer need to brace or stay on all the time; rather, you choose to respond and move through your own rhythm itself. You no longer source something out of you, because you knew yourself so damn well that you could get everything you wanted in life. That calm certainty that you’ve nourished your soul each time you show up for yourself.
To get there, the inner voice of who you really are needs to be a compass for how you show up for yourself. It means it came to you to either repeat the same belief or the thoughts that gave you so much comfort, or you choose to take that new route of the things that look impossible to begin with.
It was like this one whole person that got divided into each role based on the purpose of what you want to do in your life. And to make it so visible is just to create that role through that specific belief of who you are until it becomes you.
It was like this picture that I’ve described: each human being that lives inside of you who's been doing life for you, whether you're completely aware or not. For me, it was coming from the role of someone who loves to write about self-growth and identities and create content through social media and the YSB website, and she is currently about to take a diploma in psychology. Nonetheless, everything is aligned with this specific role that I’ve continuously breathed myself into.
Have I ever prepared for this? I mean, my mind has never been captured by the experience of this type of life that I currently have now. It only appeared as the role that put me into this repetition of doing what I'm doing until the direction itself started to come as an obvious action to take. So, to keep rippling back to your life as a gesture, a bigger capacity is to stay inside that alignment of how you choose to fill your life existence with that future role right now.
Not through thinking or motivation. But a literal doing it, even just for 5-10 minutes a day. And the more you choose to come back into that same movement, it will eventually integrate into another next identity that reality will reflect in your life.
So, self-code yourself intentionally <3
Your Subconscious Besties,
Liona
