This morning, the minute I opened my eyes, this body got back into that “turn-on” mode with that awareness inside it. I felt as if I was being born into this world all over again, with a clean slate. Truth be told, I had felt this way for a while, but this morning, something inside me told me to ask ChatGPT about what was going on…

I felt like I was this nothingness that was somehow alive without any meaning or purpose… And something clicked after I gained some clarity.

Ok, before we started this, let’s throw back to 2024, when I broke up with my ex-boyfriend. I believe that’s where I started to see this world from different lenses. It somehow led me towards “I want to become the best version of myself” type thing (I meant, of course, that’s typical for most humans when they get broken off from a specific situation)… It started when I decided to move to a different state and start a new beginning in a new city.

I moved, and I decided this is it… I started to create new routines that made me feel good afterward, cut-off 100% alcohol for like a year or more, did that 75-day hard challenge, built a better relationship with God that led me to somehow become very spiritual, cut off people and stay away from all environments that don’t really any positive impacts on me, and this is very shocking, but I started reading a book (Hated it but forced it and somehow I become addicted now)…

And after doing this for a while without me even realizing it, something inside of me changed. It was like all of these used to be hard work to do and became just as normal as when I got my morning coffee every morning or when I took myself to a red light therapy session. All of that emerging inside of this body, and become one…

Let’s get back to NOW, 24 February 2026. The minute I opened my eyes, I asked myself this question: Who am I? What am I doing in this world? And what even is this I am actually doing? Are we just an awareness that lives in this flesh that God created for us? I almost got anxiety attack while thinking about all of these… haha, kidding… Still having that blank canvas feeling until I realized this is the original state it should’ve been when we were just a baby… However, the difference is that a baby is directed by their family and environment that shaped them, and that direction is how that baby will see and act through the world that they will live in.

So after reading and gaining a little bit of information, this picture appeared in my head.

“The brain is the universe that we are experimenting with by itself.” What I meant by that is the body we had was part of the universe's creation; the same goes for trees, flowers, animals… What made it different is that we have the awareness, and that awareness can know that we are “alive”… That’s what makes us different from others' creations in this universe… Hence, the minute I opened my eyes, I could start rewriting what I wanted to create and putting it into this world.

It got me thinking everything I’ve been doing “subconsciously” has made me become where I am right now, so I got that deja-vu feeling, whereas I remember people talking about how your thoughts can create your reality, you need to have your nervous system regulated, and words of affirmation don't work; only evidence does.

It's because your thoughts really shaped the reality you live in right now. So, I think the projection that was shown through your eyes is that accumulation of endless evidence that your nervous system has been capturing consistently from the day you were born until now, and that’s what gave you the life that you live right now.

Truth be told, I used to live on the right side of the picture. My life used to be always in that never-ending fear of living based on what my family taught me, or the guilt of wanting to reach my dream rather than listening to what my parents wanted me to be, or fear of losing that job, doubting myself that i wouldn’t be able to accomplish my goals, the fear that people I loved would leave me, always thinking of the next thing I needed to do, or thinking about 20-30 probable situations of the possible results based on 1 decision I made, or always thinking of the next thing I can do. You named it… Is it tiring? Probably not, in fact, when I used to be in that situation, I just felt like that was the right thing to do… It makes sense even.

These changes happen when I decide to delete those old files and start my new life by changing the whole internal architecture that I planted in my body. All that self-development thingy that I never thought would work has insanely brought the result I have now. It was like that nervous system software that changed from the right to the left side of the picture. The nervous system becomes really selective about what it will show me through my eyes and mind. It became extremely precise based on what I prefer.

You know it’s like when you always think why bad things always happen to you, and it happens, and then you will say, “Of course it happened… That was because you were simply sending that live broadcast to the wrong antenna. To be able to create a new reality is to give that new evidence to the brain momentarily. So, every day of our lives, we should take that as a clean slate, a blank canvas that is waiting for us to be written on.

That’s pretty much it for today’s entry number 1 in the archive from my mind’s collection.

Your Subconscious Bestie,

Liona