There is something beneath each sentence that has its own meaning, story, and purpose. Behind everything that you’ve said, that might most likely have come from the back of your mind, what your mind might’ve been longing for a while, a desire that’s been hidden under the curtain.
Once upon a time, there was this girl who envisioned herself and created her own life through how she visualized herself.
I remember when she started to pursue her dream by not giving up on her each second of how life tried to push her by continuously giving the opposite of what she hoped for.
I remembered that her only dream was to have the power to create her own life through what she feels right internally for her to act on. Not from what this world categorized as the definition of what would make her become someone who is worthy, loved, and acceptable, but from her own fictional narrative story that she kept giving her every time life tried to take away her sense of meaning.
Until this morning, she realized this one thing: her version of how she found herself 2 years ago brought her to someone who can create something meaningful, impactful, and creative, which she doesn’t want to throw away just because she’s been asking for a watermelon, but instead of having one, life gave her a lemon through an unexpected experience that just occurred.
Well, until she realized it wasn’t the lemon that she thought her life was that she had been purposely creating, she immediately collapsed, but it turned out to be her inner universe that she might’ve been avoiding for quite some time. What she thought life would be was just forever, when her hope in herself started to dim for quite some time.
Although it turned out, it was just an overwhelmed mind who’s been working under pressure and stressed that quite appeared she might’ve been living inside her head rather than her own body.
Or, perhaps a distraction that she might’ve mistaken for something that caused her to lose the momentum that she has been creating for herself. Nonetheless, if there is one thing that can help her to push through this phase, it is her own power of choosing how she wants to show up right now.
Welcome back to this episode of my life that’s been quite incredibly rough; it’s like giving a car that needed petrol to work and a can of energy drink to keep her brain functioning. /joke on me/
If I could describe the life that is currently appearing to me, my mind wouldn’t even comprehend this anymore; it feels surreal that life can drastically change in a split second.
It somehow placed me inside a role that I’ve outgrown for quite some time; it’s when there is no longer a script that the body can follow, and I immediately got so worked up that it placed me into an old repetition of what brings her aliveness within.
A repetition of when you woke up and the first thought that you chose was to immediately take your phone to your head just because. I wasn’t so sure; perhaps the La La Wonderland that I’ve been giving the power itself to it….
However, because of this, I got myself into this new spark idea layer to create a new repetition over and over again; this time, intentionally aligned with who I am, the becoming version that I’ve been embodied before I’ve experienced the sour taste of what lemon feels like when I bite it.
Therefore, the first thing you need to know before we begin this journey of recreating a life that feels like a continuous evolution is that you should’ve always had it as a foundation for how you choose to live your life. Here’s the article before we begin the session to recreate the avatar of who I am all along:
How to give a heartbeat to my dream life
A Wednesday, fresh blowout, minimal makeup, pink activewear, and a glow matcha.
If there is one thing you should know, your nervous system only remembers the repetition of what you choose to do inside of your life right now.
For this past week, the huge realization of what the mind has been doing for me is that when I need to solve, it can come like she might’ve needed to join this; perhaps this is what she’s been feeling, and she has to do this or else…
It’s giving anxiety. The type of old reprogramming of humanity that’s been placed under my skin for quite sometimes, and unfortunately enough, our beautiful nervous system doesn’t understand sensation, feeling, or emotions as our mind does.
It only understands the repetition of what you’ve been thinking in each second of what you’ve currently been living inside of your life. Your own definition is when you choose to create something, while what you’ve been thinking is to get a hot matcha latte instead. Or, while you are having a conversation with someone, the type of conversation itself led you somewhere that you’ve always known how to deal with.
For the past week, I’ve noticed the only role that she’s been rehearsing inside this body has come from someone who needed people to be there for her; it came like an ongoing conversation, catching up with friends, and flying herself to Jakarta to spend time with her fams.
Yep, it sounds unfair, but at the same time it also can bring the life that we want so damn visible when you know how to play the game so damn well.
It simply means that what you choose to speak, decide, and act on just needs to come from a place of how your future self will act from now on.
Until this morning, I thought to myself, what does this even mean? It doesn’t bring me anything but a nonsense continuous motion that doesn't lead anywhere; side note, I’ve been feeling blue for quite a while, y’all.
I decided on a fresh new beginning for myself instead; had breakfast; rested; showered and got myself a nice outfit; and started writing. And boom; for the past 1 week or so, that’s been going on, and what her mind taught was just immediately gone.
It becomes just another fiction story of what the mind has been released through me. It does feel real during those times, until the moment itself ends and moves forward to the next thing; that got me to realize even better that the only life that is happening is coming from the most repetition that I’ve infused myself with my own belief within.
Which means the specific character that becomes the only role that you choose to breathe is by giving that specific narrative story of who you choose to be internally.
And, here’s the thing: a character who stays inside your body is not another human being through your own visualization or people that might’ve caught your eye all along, but you. The better you are. The evolved version of you. The quality of thoughts and beliefs that you choose to act on within. It is all you; it is you who choose to release it into your life.
The version of who you are who shows up to an exercise class at the same time as a gesture of thanks to the body that’s been there for you all along, the community that feels like home where you get to become who you are without having this fear of being rejected, or a career that feels like your cup of tea that you’ve continuously updated yourself through joining an event or workshop to evolve the quality of how you think.
Everything is within you. From how you can recognize that direction itself as a next chapter of what you can naturally lean on. It becomes your mind, your biggest companion when it comes to creating and building the life for yourself.
It becomes how you can create your own story when something suddenly appears through you that, at the end of the day, will eventually work out in your favor. Perhaps through new ideas that one day land on a random Tuesday afternoon while you're having lunch with your friends, or when you are traveling, you meet a stranger who turns out to be your future husband…
Everything is all in your mind, in how creatively you can tell each story that you continuously breathe inside of yourself. The more you live in that alignment, in how you choose to show up, the more it becomes your anchor for how you behave and act, and it will become your permanent way of thinking in the life you’ve built for yourself.
By all means, the way you should start to see yourself is the first pivot point that you need to improve on. The way you see failure as a new direction in a chapter that can surprise you, or a challenge that places you into someone who can grow. Or a closed door that pushed you to slow down a notch.
The recognition of the action that I want you to practice yourself daily. To be more intentional with what you choose to be engaged in. The conversation that feels like what you want to place yourself inside. Knowing when to stop and return. By letting the experience only appear from a place of who you are right now.
Not from the script that your body knew how to deal with, but from how your future self will naturally act on that; you practice yourself inside your life until it becomes normal. Normal means when you are no longer thinking but naturally act based on how you choose to respond when the experience itself appears to you.
It becomes your way of showing up to each situation that you currently have inside your life. The transition that is no longer the biggest enemy, new people that you’ve met along the way, and how you think about yourself become your mother nature of how the universe provided you with.
You are becoming a lighthouse through how you act within and through how you can recognize how the world has become your biggest facilitator in the way you create the life inside of yourself.
As someone who grew up in a strict culture and rigid structure, to finally know who I am, what I want, and the purpose that I’ve built for myself, the key foundation of how I found myself is never coming from how much achievement or what I’ve gained; rather, it is the act and decision that is only coming from what I feel internally, right, decided on right now.
To know when to say no; when to speak up for myself; and when things make me feel like this is me.
By consistently showing up as one specific character of who you are becoming, eventually reality will simply reflect that to your world so that you are no longer shocked but perceive it as something obvious for you to have.
This meant stopping worrying and fearing something that your mind couldn’t capture itself in anymore by just continuously living like one who already knows the final destination.
A final destination that you are specifically working on, so you don’t wait every second of your life, but you continuously show up like one until it adds up naturally and you become one eventually.
In between the space itself, I’ve found myself sometimes trying to do something else that feels like, “What can I do in this biggest space that I’ve had for the day right now?” That led me to build a whole website and brand that I’ve called a YSB, an embodiment of the way I lived my life, and I’ve found that during the journey, relationships, conversations, and places no longer become the primary source of my happiness, but my own capacity of how I can create the life that I’ve built for myself.
The life that will only exist through you is the only life that your body can recognize internally as how you choose to intentionally live that is coming from the avatar of who you are becoming.
Which means you are no longer thinking for yourself but rather a repetition of who you are internally; in a way, how you choose to show up externally is the only introduction to how your future self will thank you for it.
By showing up as you, through your own perceptive lens inside of your body, is the only life path that the universe will align you with. And within that, let it be the universe's way of delivering that through your life. Not through how you imagined the expectation would be, but by letting the universe be the one who provides that through you while you just continuously show up for yourself right now.
At this moment, how present can you be to facilitate the experience of what you intend to have inside your life right now? Is it coming from a role of comfort or the becoming that placed you to become fully intentional with the way you act and behave until the moment has ended?
I remember a 45-minute workout when I was fully present inside myself while doing the movement, which became something that my mind no longer thinks about and has figured out, but became a smooth way of how I can close my eyes and fully enjoy the exercise just for myself.
Everything that appears through you right now should always become something that you’re looking forward to, rather than something that you’ve despised.
A meaningful conversation with someone you can trust, a job that feels like you can fully grow and get what you need, or a hobby that becomes your life purpose and who you are.
Something that you built for yourself in this space that sounds like a welcome invitation for your inner creativity inside your heart, that you can express yourself through your own imagination, is the foundation for the opening of a new reality that will surprise you.
Therefore, if you are currently on a journey of finding yourself, a purpose that you want to pursue, as well as finding what brings you meaning in life. I’ve created this 1:1 Restoration Space to guide you and help you recognize what you want limited beliefs that have been holding you back all along.
