There is something that made me giggle when the sky was cloudy, the blanket was set to cover my legs, the candle was on, and a hot mocha was ready to be sipped. ☕ 🕯

Here I am back into myself after letting my mind discover the meaning of life that led me into some philosophical girl, soul searching, finding what real aliveness means, and a spiritual journey. I guess I accidentally let this happen because I used to be in that “chaotic”, "dramatic", and “loud” environment, so when my brain entered a new chapter, she got confused and ended up sabotaging the whole situation for my own good.

Anyway, here’s what I learned from entering this new chapter of my life:

Firstly, it will get so uncomfortable in the beginning that my mind almost made me think I got into some depression because there is no more chaos or noise to be entertained by anymore. The thing is, the minute I “entertain” what is going on with my life rather than taking it for what it is, it will immediately turn into “unintentional reality” that I would never expect to. And since I used to be in that pandemonium situation, the mind will get spiralled every 5 minutes into unlimited different possibilities, looking for something to be solved when in reality nothing needs to be resolved. The mind gets jealous because there is nothing that entertains her anymore. I still remember that part when my mind got me into thinking that I was at the lowest point of my life and having an anxiety attack because I let myself think that. Here’s the full article on that whole situation. while in reality, I was just doing what I’ve been doing; I might subconsciously think it was from a different intention that led me to have that unplanned situation…

Secondly, when I used to get my nervous system regulated through connection, people, and cheap dopamine, there was this feeling of always wanting to be filled by more things in life materially rather than create something that could be materialized into this existence. I think the modern world would say, “I got more addicted to consuming rather than creating. " I think when I let the world be the one who offers me things in life rather than me being the one who can choose what the best option is that is actually aligned with who I am, that will somehow already be seen as me being already satisfied with the life that I have. However, when you are in a place of eagerness to recreate the life that you’ve adored, you will be naturally drawn inward more because you need to have that “energy” to be able to create something that you have in your mind. I learned that when I lean outwards, it will help me gain more momentum of what you actually have in your life “already”, but when you take yourself back “inward”, you will have this “bigger capacity” that you can use to architect your days like a secret garden. The key here is to be able to fully train your “attention” towards something that you’ve wanted using your thoughts and emotional certainty without letting any external world sabotage it.

Thirdly, I really became so intentional about how I give my time to and what I give my attention to. Intentional in a way that I can offer my “present” to the world that is happening through me, rather than me turning into some performance mode or reusing the “old” script just for the sake of “it is what it is” or “I know what the ending will be anyway. " When I can re-channel my attention back into the present, I am subconsciously going into the most vulnerable state that is full of blankness of “what’s going to happen”, “am I going to be safe", and “I don’t know what the outcome is". But there will be another lens that will be revealed that will lead me to the outcome of “new ideas”, “creativity”, "whimsical", and “joy”, and no external world could ever replace that, because it is going to last forever within you, and you will be able to bring that wherever you are. From that place alone, you create more space in the life that you want to have materialised into this external world, but this time it will be based on happiness and an obvious state that you consciously create for yourself.

Lastly, the power of embodiment. To be honest, I just learned that embodiment happens based on what your thoughts are and the inevitable state that you constantly give to yourself, so that your brain can constantly have that evidence of what you believe about who you are. For example, when I am constantly having thoughts about my future with that “pressure state,” the brain is constantly looking for evidence of what it is that made me believe that I was lacking on that “spiritual” journey because I constantly have thoughts of “my future + worry". Hence, it is important to give your body a structure with the right intention so that we are capable of recognizing the right manifestation of what we’ve wanted to be.

So this is a little bit of my storyline about what’s been happening through me in the most curious and delightful ways, and my mind is still learning the choreography 🤭

I’ll report back once reality finishes whatever it’s doing /wink/.

Your Subconscious Bestie,

Liona