Greetings from this very interesting episode of my life, broadcasting live from a tiny corner of the universe 🎙️📻🔊

First and foremost, I just realised that I’ve been living under someone’s costume for a while when the truth is the belief system of myself hasn’t been changed yet, and that alone led me to that “fear-based” sensation that I’ve been experiencing for a while that I couldn’t quite name because my thoughts are just a beautiful rainbow and unicorn most of the time.

Let me introduce you to the real “me”… I’ve been raised as someone who always needs to have a job that includes what this world dictates, something people might call a “corporate job”. Something that has a “secure foundation beneath it” just because of what this world offers. I am also just a graduate student who finished her bachelor's degree in marketing because my parents said so. I’ve been raised since I was a kid to always need to have a plan A, B, C, and D, just in case you fail. All of my life, I have most likely been subconsciously coded beneath that doubt and fear of what the worst thing that will happen is, or I always need to be one step ahead, rather than “living”. Having this creative life, such as creating for something that I liked, never really occurred to me until 2 years ago. I found that “manifestation” is talking about “thoughts will create the reality” or “imagination is the only bridge for you to be able to create that reality of what you’ve wanted."

That journey really took me to another level of consciousness. Everything became "neutral", and I can see the world for the way it is, rather than keep picking something to make me feel “alive”. From that moment, I can channel myself into that new lens of the world that’s full of joy, safety, and creativity. I can see that this world is created solely by human thoughts and attention. And from that moment, that’s when I started to be able to feel that inner coherence inside of me. However, while I was on this journey, I had someone who's been stuck in my mind while I was in that situation. Her name is C O U R T N E Y 🍒 C H O . When she spoke about her entire experience, it somehow felt so aligned with what I felt, and I just internally felt so connected with her, and it took me to another different level of me starting to create my TikTok and Substack because I wanted to experience what she had.

Mind you, English is definitely my second language, and I never experienced writing in my entire life until that moment of constantly watching her content, when my subconscious mind was wondering what my life would be like if I got to accomplish that… It somehow led me to where I am right now. Until this past month, I could feel that sensation of “I wasn’t being who I am” anymore. Until last night, I found myself that I’ve been doing this within that belief of “proving” that this method of hers will work through me rather than using her content to help me “move forward”… The first thing I realised was that I had never been such a believer in people being able to make money through creating content, social media, and creativity. Secondly, my consciousness was stuck in that “illusion” of life expectation that I will experience rather than metabolising that life transition and welcoming that new chapter of my life. I remembered about living in “loops” or “stimulation”… I have subconsciously been living in that because I wasn’t fully accepting that this is the life that I have right now. My mind was still living in that “I am just a corporate working girl” rather than seeing the life that I have right now. Another thing I want to point out as well is that my state was in that “comparison” subconsciously, whether I did this right or not, because of that constant “fear” about my future that I was subconsciously putting inside my mind. The revelation I gained through this was about “my future”, which I used to feel afraid of because of that old template of what I used to believe life should be.

I realised that when I passed the bridge to where I am today, I had zero template of what “life” would be, and that alone gave my mind a little bit of feeling of paranoia because she loves to have extra reassurance. That put me in the position of grabbing onto those memories of content that I watched before just to have that “certain” feeling of it, rather than being in a fully vulnerable state of just “living” and seeing how life will bring you. The truth is, the minute you open your eyes, you are just as simple as a “consciousness” that lives inside your body and automatically rewrites your storyline through your daily activities. When you can recognise your purest awareness, you will see the direction of where you’re going forwards using that beautiful mind and certain emotions of yours. It’s like you help this body to go where you want it to be…. You need to remove that “pressure” inside of your body and just do it from a place of “this will lead me to where I want to be", and just keep continuing doing it until you forget you're even doing this in the first place, and it becomes just your normal default system in your body.

Sending you a postcard from this episode of my life and a signal sent from this human having a very human day. ♡

Your Subconscious Bestie,

Liona