Happy weekend, beautiful humans. Here I am, just sitting down on my blue couch, just finishing my cleaning, and I might as well stay here for a little while…
This morning, I found myself in a flat state. Not per se flat, but it was more like I started to question the rhythm that I thought I’d been losing, and I started to get so damn worried… Well, until I remembered I was living inside this human body that still needs to have a life experience that can continuously move through me…
As someone who used to just focus on one task each until she started to embody her dream life, I’ve figured the old rhythm no longer does anything to her, because… the life that she once wanted meant putting her into a new rhythm that sounds like more participation in the external world than she used to be…
Which means, to start creating a new motion that came from a participating human that came from whoever stayed inside my body the minute I opened my eyes. To give more grace and flexibility, rather than becoming someone who monitored her own body? Well, I would say this perfectionist role of mine just wants to make everything perfect. Whereas the truth of experiencing life is coming from an imperfect, spontaneous, unexpected, and unfamiliar movement, I should let my body have that experience daily.
And as someone who’s been talking about embodiment, self-identity, and inner work a lot, I found that the script that I’ve been subconsciously using became a constant stillness and still somehow captured that part of who I was before when I was still in that journey, whereas the reality that I’ve experienced right now is coming from a place where she already knows her life purpose, who she is, what she wants, and how she chooses to respond to her own life, and the missing point becomes this human’s participation that she always sometimes forget that she needed that, through maybe to bring her a new environment of walking routes. Done that, and please tell me it was one of the most amazing internal feelings that I haven’t experienced for a while…
Or, to just choose to put myself on dating means to put a little bit more of my time there. If there is one thing that I’ve learned just now, it’s that I’ve been internally pumped and fulfilled when it comes to my work, until I forgot I still have this personal and human abstract desire that still needs to be acknowledged and given the body evidence of having this won’t ruin the embodiment’s identity that you’ve been consistently breathing on. Gosh, it somehow just taught me I might have been embodied in this constant seriousness role that came across as not letting me fully live.
It’s the life that I’ve just taught this version of who I am right now to give other individual roles to me to have that inner experience of whatever it is that's coming to your mind today. Maybe to put some makeup on to go outside or put on some happy playlists while I was on the bus. That constant connection between each part of who I am that I’ve nurtured will become a repetitive state that I’ve chosen to live in internally.
There we go, I’ve got this new clarity about the way we showed up; we just needed to be relying on that intentional state that we’ve placed inside our body. The internal state that continuously comes from how the body can feel when we choose to do that specific movement. So, it led to my realization that most humans, including me, might always want to put themselves in this bubble of this huge big question: “Am I doing enough today?” “Am I being productive?” “Have I tackled all the lists that I’ve tried to get done?” Without asking the body about what we truly need and what actual activities that this inner role wants to move through us today? And for me this morning, it is to take myself to a nice, different scene of my walking. To soak into that inner body experience that makes me feel like it’s more than enough for me to keep moving for the day.
However, this is the tricky, sticky part of what humans have been experiencing. We are all this spiritual creation that has this unlimited potential to fully experience whatever it is that came into our mind. But the psychological mind that lives in us comes at us as “fear,” “doubt,” or “self-criticism,” or makes this world become the constant food for a starving soul that keeps lurking around. So, the goal here is to have the body, soul, and mind be balanced. Which means to let the body have that inner state’s experience through the world in a way of how you let the body move and feel, but the attention that you’ve placed on is for yourselves. It’s for the body, your body, your soul. Not to prove to the world that I belong, or to immediately make it the content of the experience, but rather to fully belong to the soul that is inside your body, which wants to experience the world.
Which means you do want to know who you’ve let that inner soul that stays inside and moves through you in your primary life be. To know if the soul is coming from a place of knowing who you are or missing something, so I need the world to fill me in. And the only way to recognize that is to start living more intentionally. Intentional living comes from a role that no longer needs the world to be the one who brings that feeling of fulfillment, rather than from who you are—who placed the feeling on that specific experience that came from your own imagination, which brings a state of gratification by itself.
The repetition of your own state creation will create this inner role of who you wanted to be without needing the world’s justification to put you into that category of the life that you’ve currently built, rather than you becoming the authority itself who just keeps moving and receiving what is in front of you that you can naturally take action on without any hesitation.
That’s when you become a powerful soul who no longer sources your life from places of validation, because the only validation you need is your own. You are becoming the lighthouse that the body is just continuously moving through. You placed this one intention through the body by letting the experience unfold on its own. There is no more forcing, motivation, disciplined; rather, just each present self that the body needs to experience, and you are simply allowing it to happen.
It taught me this one new thing: there is no such thing as more than a human’s control over what safety is; rather, I’ve just been allowing myself to do it first and letting the clarity arrive later on. Which means not letting your mind keep rehearsing the “best” script or template that the body can show up for that specific situation, or putting the mind as the one who dictates what we should be doing today for the sake of “doing,” rather than letting the body decide what the aligned experience that you need right now is.
Well, I think it’s a gesture of continuously nurturing the body with what it needs, and to give that love and care because that’s the only thing you have. This is one external body that will carry each inner individual soul that will move through you all the time.
So, it was no longer coming from a “routine,” but rather from the rhythm of what the body feels like, and the clarity of what you want, need, and should be doing will naturally arrive by itself. And the rhythm itself will always start with returning to the body the first thing in the morning before you’ve created, built, and participated in the world.
Body first, first thing in the morning, as a rhythm of new beginning and moving forward, and continue the day with creation, building, or anything that’s being unfolded through you, and lastly, close your day off with something that will put the body into a digest-rest mode.
Well, I guess that’s it for this late evening, and I hope it helps. I will see you next time.
Your Subconscious Besties,
Liona
