When I said every day is a new beginning, the only thing we can do is start recognizing that in the way you choose to show up in our lives.
In this episode, I will specifically express how I’ve navigated my sense of self—my version of who I am—through those inward, outward, and sensational experiences that I choose everywhere and whenever I am. One thing I am sure about living inside my own life is that I either choose to let the character stay intact in that present moment or consistently attend to it as you navigate for yourselves. Letting the mind become your compass is the role itself that you choose to breathe in in a way of how you exist inside every moment, situation, and chapter that is currently happening to you. What is truly happening is when your body and mind are presently there and you let your attention focus on the sensation or the weight of your feet, whereas you express yourselves through creation, conversation, or movement as a gesture that the present self of you is the one who stays inside your body, not through that leftover of what just happened 5 minutes ago or 1 week ago that you’ve been using continuously as a motion of living.
This story of my life that my mind no longer can make sense of, but just simply moving through the way I steer myself inside my body, in a way that the conscious role I pick in every situation that I have opens my eyes internally. The character that will always be changing through how your conscious mind perceives something, and eventually your soul chooses to take that as a gesture of moving that’s been categorized as “safety.” Safety means you simply just exist and can feel the sensation and movement inside your body wherever you are. You stop letting your emotions, environment, or situation determine your behavior. You are simply responding to what sounds normal for you to do without bracing your body or overreacting to some specific situation. There is this reassurance that I would like to share with you guys. To be true, living as a human being is more like you redecorate your own garden inside your body through repetition of one intention that you want to experience until it becomes something else that reality labels back to your world.
I remembered one creator said she wants to have a job that doesn’t hurt her nervous system and that she did method acting herself until reality brought that label to her world as an “influencer.” However, the key here is that the intention that she chose in the beginning is through how she perceives herself rather than what the world has labeled as such, which made your mind think about a million different narratives of what it was until the intention became scattered and moved in a different direction that is not aligned with who you are. Or another one was that my Lagree instructor once told us that her first intention was to be able to exercise without paying, and that led her to become one of the best instructors that I’ve experienced. It was like she got her purest intention and 10% tax on something that she never expected would bring her to another experience that she no longer thinks about but sees as “normal.” Why? It’s simply because of the repetition itself that doesn’t get scattered through the illusion of what your mind hasn’t felt familiar with, your sense of your present self, yet. The internal motivation that came from your body that your character can perceive as something normal and obvious for you to take. The zero second-guessing or what-if type of things that don’t have power over you, because of the repetition of the present-self version that you choose to breathe in until it becomes who you really are. It becomes the flowers that start to bloom inside your garden that smell like alignment inward and outward that you choose for yourselves.
Another interesting story that my mind immediately grabbed was the way my mom has been permanently reprogrammed through every conversation that will appear to sound normal for her, whereas, from how I perceive it, it was the most contrasting opinion and experience that we both could feel internally. I remembered that 2 days ago we got her the wrong order, and in my mind she hasn’t drunk any yet, and I might as well try to ask them to change it, but from how she thinks, she immediately said to buy another one and got defensive as if it were such an impossible situation to get the new one without paying for it. And it turns out we can get the new one without needing to pay again. All those little things that I perceived as something normal to do, whereas from her perspective, were completely different. It’s the belief that I already believe in, in a way: the universe will always have my back until it becomes normal.
I no longer live through the lenses of fear and doubt, except that what my character learned right now is not stuck inside my memories; sometimes I am quite mesmerized by it. The old scene doesn’t have any flavor, but sometimes it was kind of nice to imagine it simply. Well, from what I learned, it taught me how to be more present, in a way, aligning myself with that intention itself so that I didn’t miss the actual essence of what I wanted in the first place. Right up until my dad got hospitalized, the mind sometimes told me I needed to do this and that, whereas the truth is that being present and collecting memories can be as simple as sitting and holding his hand, just there. The soul inside of me that immediately can recognize it, rather than letting my mind drive me around as if I haven’t done something enough yet. It was this morning when I could feel my mind teaching me to do this and that, and I almost missed my chance actually to be there for my dad. The first intention that almost got erased was because I thought I needed to do this and that first as the right movement for “me,” whereas the goal is to be there sitting and present for him.
The layer of presence that we choose through repetition of what safety feels like to exist inside without letting our past, emotions, and memories determine the movement itself will eventually align us with another chapter of what people call a new beginning, or perhaps a future destination. And self-presence requires your authorship of your own body in the way of how you choose to act inside your own life. The action itself will make your body recognize the way home. A home where this world no longer has control over you; it becomes a simple reflection and facilitator of what you choose for yourself. Home, where nothing requires any meaning or behavior, just your simple present version of yourself that exists and evolves by itself.
If you want a weekly reminder of what home feels like, through how this life that is full of attention has scattered who you are, I create this piece that I will directly send to your email.
I also create a 1:1 Restoration Space for the expansion your heart has been whispering about. A space to untangle the noise that once shaped your identity, so your body can finally become familiar with a new level of awareness, capacity, and aliveness.
When you are in a situation where you are constantly asking about what life is, looking for meaning, constant signs, and reassurance. Hm, trust me, I’ve been there, and the truth is you should thank yourself for that. It is the soul inside of you that’s been giving you a sign that you are in between chapters, which is your capacity in that moment in that building season, the season where nothing is happening, but beneath it, the universe is arranging everything through invisible strings so that the new chapter will land without you second-guessing yourself but be able to allow yourself to experience it. Every internal season has an expiration date, and you will always be moving forward to another chapter that sounds like your desired timeline. You just need to clear all those old spaces that no longer serve you so that the new one can arrive at the perfect time.
Your Subconscious Besties,
Liona
