What if boredom is one of the signs you might start losing that spark that you have about yourself… What if it was one of those days when you might need to work twice as hard? That self-love you remembered once always brings back that bubbly version of yourself to your life, existence now.
What if it was a gentle nudge from the universe that you’ve been investing too much of your energy into the outside world rather than your internal garden…
Well, the good news is boredom absolutely can be cured. Not through chasing more of what you think will fulfil you, when deep down, you won’t feel that spark that you’ve been needing.
Or maybe sometimes you’ve wondered if there’s any antidote that I can just take and life can immediately change in a second.
Well, absolutely damn, yes….
The only cure to your own boredom is to tap into your creativity, a life act that you’ve been abandoning for most of your life. Well, perhaps it's simply because of how work’s been affecting you, or a relationship that you’ve been in that actually drained you, or the type of lifestyle that you’ve been doing for most of your life.
Nonetheless, it all came from the outside world that you’ve been doing for your life that you think was the only thing you could do… Well, what I think is that that start way of thinking that already came as a permanent structure of what life was after you start to grow up, well, you sometimes need to upgrade that software through changing the character that you’ve been rehearsing over and over again.
For the past 2 years, I was on that journey as a queen of a strict plant evolving or regret-type gal, that puts me into a season where I’ve left some environments that used to fill me up: people, community, just to stay with my own companion itself. Well, the motivation during that time was
“What is it that I’ve been looking for that somehow can put me into this internally consistent fulfillment without letting the mind ask for any other things?” I’ve stayed inside this imaginary character of who I want to become, and what else could I have done for myself by this point? Well, that’s what I’ve been focused on doing.
Until 1 month ago, I lost my dad, and everything changed. Changing in a way that something inside me was completely ripped from my body. It was as if I had lost one of my favourite flowers that I had inside my garden; when I was back in Melbourne, the reality itself was completely changed.
Well, it changed in a way that this little consciousness daughter role inside of me, who’s looking for that “new template of belonging” that she just lost, through how I can see myself, was somehow looking for a little companion, community, and just people for the sake of that replacement of what she just lost, or the constant of “doing” that she started to put me into..
Doing it for the sake of “living,” rather than fully knowing where this is going, what the purpose is, or why I choose to do that specific thing. Well, let’s get back to that “boredom” thinking.
I genuinely feel like that sensation of boredom appears because you’re no longer present when you choose to do your daily life. It all comes from a repetition of the role that you used to be entertained in, whereas some roles that you deep down knew had long since expired and no longer served you.
It was like this: instead of you drinking coffee and just cherishing that situation of the feeling, you might be thinking about other things that are not aligned with what you are doing right now. Or, you intend to have a relationship, but perhaps you still entertained a role that came from “a little accompaniment to help regulate myself would be fine too.” ….
I meant the mind only keeps repeating the roles that you’ve been playing, whether you're aware of it or not, and right up until you're just sitting and don't have anything to be entertained on, you might find yourself in a situation that you need to reach or do something, or else I would get crazy.
Guess what? That appears because it is a sign to let go of the roles that came from someone who's not helping you to fulfill the real purpose of who you want to be. And that “boredom” is a really important tool for us to have, to be able to just sit and start to reflect on the things that you actually want to internally experience inside your life.
It leads me to a second point. Each part of who you are becoming. Boredom starts to reappear when your soul has been sleepwalking into your daily life through a precise movement and reaction that you’ve been doing for yourself. I always called this a detoxification of yourself from the illusion of what you taught will fullfiled what you need.
That brings me to this: 2 years ago, about my turning point when I was trying to find my life purpose, specifically on the career journey that I hadn’t realized until it started to happen by itself. That part of me who tried to truly find out what she actually wanted to do for her life in terms of her own definition of her dream life. It took a lot of boredom sessions that she must’ve overcome to really detox all those old roles that she used to play in her life.
Boredom is the part of who you are becoming internally that needed to be practiced through new repetition of how you choose to fill your life right now. It’s a sign of needing to invite your creative life to act through your own imagination to start thinking and living differently.
The best way to start for me is to start doing this long morning walk the minute I wake up. It’s like the movement of the body that I’ve chosen for myself and a sign of a moving-forward gesture that my body recognizes. Since my body has been experiencing grief, emotional high intensity, and constant anticipation, I’ve started to do this morning walk to let the body know that this is a new beginning. I also talked about this journey a little bit more here:
Secondly, it was to be so loyal to your new belief that you can be the one who creates your own meaning through each experience and situation that you have. I read a book called Being a Human, and it said that we as humans are being reprogrammed and have this fear of our body. It’s like the instinct to always look for a danger to “survive.” For example, if you went to the woods, the mind might immediately think about “snake” or “wolf”, whereas it was a simply big trees.
It’s the repetition of what you’ve been avoiding that you just simply needed to take one step of a courageous action and remove that fear and doubt from your body and just do it. The more you’ve practicing the role of what you’ve fear or doubting yourself with, the more it will becomes normal and it will puts your nervous system to integrated to who you are becoming.
I used to think words of affirmation and staying positive would help me to get what I want, but that was just a simple performance delulu if the beneath of internal character inside your body is still coming from a place of your old roles and fear emotions. I learned about myself that I’m the type of someone who doesn’t really like to talk much; therefore, whenever and wherever I go, I stand true to who I am no matter what situation and experiences that I’m moving through.
It becomes you are the gravity of each experience that is currently happening to you right now. The more you choose who you are through the action that came from who you want to be, the more the old roles will start to disappear, and the reality will start to reflect that back to your world.
It is about building a strong container inside your nervous system for each purpose role that you’ve embodied for yourselves. Which means there is no such thing as a permanent identity, except the way you choose to show up right in the moment right now. And the more you rehearsed, the more aligned the role that came from who you are becoming will eventually become you.
Building a strong vessel is like a repetition of how you put yourself to the gym to let those muscles grow or a once-a-month travel plan to reset your body and mind. The same goes with how to be a human. The type of human that can experience a life that sounds like a future destination. It’s through the thoughts and emotions of who you are becoming that you’ve breathed into your life’s existence now until it becomes normal and obvious for you to do.
And it’s not like an overnight practice and then you are becoming that person, but it’s a consistent repetition of how you choose to show up for yourselves that came from who you are becoming. You start to put yourself in something that you’ve wanted to be internally experienced through practicing the role itself right now. Until you no longer react but are normal.
Becoming who you really are is never about becoming someone new; it’s only to change that inner character that you’ve let stay inside your body through new repetition of that future role itself. And sometimes, maybe what you need is from someone who can help you to recognize that part of who you’ve been hiding internally the whole time. So, I created this 1:1 soft companion space for the part of who you are becoming:
Lastly, it was to truly know what you want. As someone who grew up in survival mode, the only aliveness sources that used to make my body know are coming from achievement, status, and approval. It’s when I got the best score at uni, or I’ve got this huge opportunity for my life, or when I took myself for a restaurant and got cute pics, it made me feel great. And all of that was perfectly fine, but then what now? Because life will always be moving forward, right? Well, as long as we still live here in this world?
That puts me on a new learning layer about what a true self-love is that actually feels real and stays forever within me. It’s a non-negotiable relationship about who you are and the part of you that will always have this new curiosity bubble of ideas, and you should always let that door to stay open.
Self-love that I used to think was coming from just “living my life to the fullest,” but the real self-love for me now is to purposely act and move that is coming from someone who already knows what they want to achieve in life. It is no longer coming from a good 1-hour feeling after I did a high-intensity workout class or went on a date and it was a good one. All of that becomes just the type of your normal experience, but the real prize will become something that you’ve accomplished by yourself. The inner character inside your body who knows the type of life and what is normal for you to be consistently experiencing each motion of what life provided you. And that’s rare; it takes time, but it is a long-lasting accomplishment humans have been trying to look for.
And, if you are on the journey of finding your purpose in your life, I’ve opened this 1:1 restoration space to help you recognize the role that you want to become:
It’s not putting yourself in this rigid structure; that’s it. I just want to have this and that, and my life will completely be fullfiled. Satisfaction will always come in a different million directions of what the universe will surprise you, and to be able to see that is to recognize that part of you who can perceive that as something as normal and obvious for you to have. Which means it’s to know every part of yourself and the way you normally show up for yourself that came from who you really are.
The part of you who can recognize that new opportunity as something that you can tackle or a relationship that you’ve intentionally built for your purpose. Everything in life is coming from each recognition from the body who can sees it as something inevitable ordinary.
It is as ordinary as taking yourself to a new restaurant that you’ve always wanted to go by yourself, talking to someone that you’ve felt interested in, and learning the skills that you want to learn. The constant relationship that you’ve built between you and who you are becoming. And when you can finally realize that, everything else will simply become a facilitator of who you are.
The lifestyle, achievement, goals, and purpose become how your body can recognize it as something that is no longer threatening you but deliciously obvious for you to take and experience daily.
Your Subconscious Besties,
Liona
