This chapter of life that I currently experience puts me through the meaning of family, presence, sickness, and hope and the role that I choose to give pulse to in this moment of how I choose to exist through the way I am aligning my thoughts and emotions that my mind has developed through a next level of new beginnings…. Well, perhaps the delusional version of me that currently doesn’t have any emotions through some specific meaning rather than simply memories of scenes that don’t have any emotion charges in them somehow gave me this new level of strength that I never knew I had in me all along.
Hm, well, let’s get back to 1 year ago when I was on a journey of figuring out what life was through somehow letting my soul subconsciously do a new repetition of how I chose to experience, in a way, my awareness experiencing a tremendous roller coaster of untangling all those beliefs that used to be planted inside my mind like a hidden microchip embedded beneath the skin, quietly directing a life I never consciously agreed to. The most interesting part about it was that I most likely still put myself into the type of life that feels like how I precisely want to experience, right up until this unexpected chapter that made me need to fly to Singapore to be there for my dad for a while. The juicier part about it was the almost 24/7 time I got to spend with my family that I hadn’t seen for a while or so. However, this time the most intriguing part about it was the way I chose to exist inside that old bubble that used to teach me what’s right and not that I can't precisely see the internal architecture behind it. Well, at least it used to be my cup of tea that now has become something that makes my system feel so unfamiliar; it taught me to hold the capacity without becoming one that merged with the way it was. Every second of motion that sounds like constant worry and fear, when the truth is we just have to wait for the next aligned situation that the universe will put us through. The amount of “nothing is happening” or “uncertainty” that my mind can no longer react to every second of the time through this specific situation right now is something that I can hold without letting the mind dictate the way I need to behave. The situation needed to be perceived for the way it was, rather than letting my mind overanalyze or overthink the whole situation just for the sake of the illusion of reassurance that the character inside of your body needed the most right now. The unexpected chapter that the daughter part of me never wanted to experience.
The Chapter I Never Wanted to Write
This article I specifically created for the love of my life. My dad. My superhero. My everything. My spiritual guru. Everything in one, I will say.
Not going to lie, 1-2 weeks ago, my nervous system was kind of shocked to be putting itself inside that survival bubble that no longer has power in me. Through that constant anticipation, moving, and reacting to the worst-case scenarios and suffering that in the beginning put my body into those temporary “danger” sensations. However, the interesting part about it was that despite what was happening weeks ago, the mind can simply metabolize and heal quicker and bring my sense of self back immediately, rather than going to that stimulation of my family’s nervous system. The way my nervous system is the one that can bring all of them to come along and align with mine, I recognized they no longer infused through the constant worry but more like the logical type of way. It’s like how their minds start to catch up with reality in different types of motions when they were so caught up with the roles that they’ve been doing unintentionally, which amazed me in a way that, at the end of the day, we, as family, can emerge back as a team with that new level of awareness. I learned that the way we contribute as an individual part of us that no one, including our family, can perceive but only ourselves; I no longer needed to get any validation or reassurance from it, simply because of how much fullness and internally filled I’ve been planted through the character that I choose to breathe in. It becomes a strong container that this character has no matter what is in front of me right now.
Also, this is a link for a weekly restoration letter for an overstimulated mind.
And also a 1:1 space for more life that always arrives quietly, but the way your character can hold it without collapsing through some specific meaning.
A container means each life that requires you to be in that specific role through how you choose to put meaning inside each experience; however, it no longer gets fueled through emotional intensity or memories but rather fully through an inner experience itself of how repeatedly you put your body in the situation of “safety.” It’s like creating the new category of what aliveness, success, opportunity, and miracles should feel like internally without getting attached to someone specific but continuously moving forward to another different category that you choose to breathe in characteristically. It’s like one motion itself should be aligned with your intention of what you want to achieve in life. With this sickness that my dad has now, rather than me choosing to immediately think about losing him, afraid and worried but naturally leaning toward creating memories and experiences that I have through how my present self can exist in this moment, with the internal belief that the universe or God always has our back, and guess what, I remembered 3 days ago, my mom declared the words, “Starting today, every miracle and healing will start aligning and quieting inside Dad’s body,” and it’s been the way how she declared it; immediately my character was able to feel it internally through how his progress has been increasingly moving forward in a good way. The power of words that no longer came from doubt but was something as normal for us to experience. Strong inner capacity means the character itself can hold more ‘uncertainty’ that your system no longer braces for but perceives as normal.
Character Development (But Make It Real Life)
When life tries to hit you in a way that you either see through the lenses of expansion or threat, either way, life will always move forward to another chapter of your life. What makes it different is that it’s the secret sauce of self-coding, through which consistent thoughts and emotions are repeated until they become the role that you consciously sig…
This is more life that I’ve been consciously putting into my life that has now been testing me to something that I never signed up for, in a way that I chose to consciously give pulse to the storyline that I am currently putting inside my heart… That sooner or later will become a life testimony itself to the world that can help people to perceive life differently… The storyline is like a seed that will grow into something through how I persistently infuse myself with those specific needles of belief until it becomes the bloodstream of my reality. It’s where the alignment starts to exist through the repetition when the character perceives it is no longer with the human mind but the character itself.
Lastly, if I choose to perceive through the lenses of my spiritual side, it was as if God or the universe had been preparing me for this unexpected chapter to arrive in a way that I no longer would act through the way I perceived life was once but from the present version of myself right now who can hold more chapters inside my body without collapsing into some meaning-making situation that’s involved emotion and old memories. It taught me to be fully present and enjoy the experience without thinking about the possibilities of what if for the next 6 months… It is simply because everything that is happening is through what we choose to do and feel internally, which sooner or later becomes beautiful memories. It was the never-ending blessing and encounter that God keeps putting me through, so the stronger internal character that I’ve built, which is aligned with who I am, will always become the lighthouse of what action and decision I choose to express in every situation that is happening through me right now.
