Have you ever felt like this deep tension inside your body, like a constant sign of putting your mind on a constant loop and paying attention all the time?
Well, welcome back to this article, which I’ve specifically dedicated to this series on the overstimulated mind.
Maybe, just maybe, right now, I'm sitting and just wondering about what I’ve been doing with life that somehow came across like I might have betrayed my own essence for quite sometimes..
It might start from a little bit of sense curiosity that doubled up until the mind got into a state of wanting to absorb each piece of this world’s illusion of “just maybe if I get a little bite of this world, it should be fine, right.”
It started from just a small side of “Let’s see how it goes; I might just try this one out”; that alone put my psyche in the heartache of betrayal that at first I mistook for the grief that maybe was still consuming my body and that stopped me from “living my life now.”
The stakes are getting high, and when I experience this, something that I thought I was living my life that cost me not just myself, but I immediately shifted into this performance mode to just simply match this experience that I taught will bring me to a better place.
Secondly, this present self of who I am obviously got betrayed so much that the conscious mind tried to look for the template to the way how I should’ve existed… Template is the repetition of how I’ve been living my life in my body that gave me this sense of “This is who I am now.”
It started to disappear, almost like I left my mind started to dig into the old roles of what the body can recognize as the most familiar templates in a sense because she still had a life, right…
I certainly remember the next thing I’ve remembered is that she started to feel this internal lacking that she immediately reached to what “the world’s” can fill her with, perhaps unintentionally, because the mind taught “she needed this type of attention from other humans,” or when she walked, instead of focusing on her, the attention became so scattered that she is the one who became someone who monitored the world, not the other way around…
It was like the mind started to starve for more stimulation through the old roles that she used to be entertained in, whereas she has been living in a completely different reality. Right until she asked herself, so then how to fix this, to bring this level of presence of who I am back to my body…
Return to myself
Yesterday, I found myself in a state of being forced to do something when the sign was there all the time. I can sense my body hates to be controlled so much, especially with time. Time is just an inner coherence of how sync you choose to do and how much present you provided during that experience; however, it kind of gets scattered when I experienced this 1 high-intensity griefing situation that put my own rhythm to be all messed up. Nonetheless, it was coming like the mind somehow put me on a subconscious reflex to book this exercise class, whereas the truth was I wasn’t even sure if that was what I wanted… The psyche within me is getting worse and worse… And there is a time gap that I had, and I can tell she was in the place where one can’t just sit and wait but needs to be in a continuously moving sensation. To return to yourself is never through reaching out for something that once brought meaning to the body, but this version of who you are right now is what you’re currently working on. Therefore, I’ve created this 1:1 restoration space for the parts of you that currently experience a big transition:
She got this idea to just do her nails instead. Called them, and it turned out they were busy and not available. She got even more pissed off, and she tried to find a new nail salon; well, that was on her mind until she sat back and took the deepest breath that she could ever do for a while. In that moment, she stopped doing that, finding something, and just took this book instead and read.
Boom, the nervous system immediately calibrates to one of the individual roles that I’ve been rehearsing in my life.
It’s called The Undiscovered Self by C.G. Jung
You guys, I am not even joking when I’ve said the type of endorphin and internal fulfillment that I’ve just gained from a simple action of forcing myself to find things that, deep down, weren’t what I’ve wanted, but an actual role that I’ve been rehearsing that was coming from who I am becoming.
Not just that I’ve learned more about myself through this book, but the type of knowledge that nothing can describe, but the states that put me into an immediate alignment were just magical.
Well, the lesson that I’ve learned is not to force something that is clearly not the right decision for me to make during that time, not to try to be in control because there is no such thing as being in control, but rather to dwell in the pain and repetition of the script that I’ve been outgrowing.
And from this book that I read yesterday, these are the things that my mind captured the most:
That each part of us that came from only the repetition of how you’ve been continuously repeating over yourself—it was this: the more you’ve rehearsed the old individual parts of who you used to be, and the system of the present-self reality that you’ve built might get overwhelmed, that each new individual part of you will start to rebel and leaving, got replaced through the old repetition through the mind’s reflex itself.
Therefore, when I’ve said life will always be moving forward, it means not letting the mind wander and long for the old aliveness that your system mistakenly thinks of as something that you need. The catch here was when my nervous system used to ressource the life itself through a specific high and low experience rather than the calm, normal, stable body state, it would come across like planning to do something for a sake of putting the mind into that 1 second of novelty, or scanning this material world because it might put the mind into a state of “I feel pumped and motivated…” If this has been the way your system lived, then the exhaustion of constantly finding the same feeling of the results will be the role that embodies “the looking state” rather than “the allowing and I am existing state.” Which will just lead you to a repetition of not knowing what you are doing the whole time. Therefore, if you are looking for a state that is coming from being fully able to recognize what is meant for me without needing to reach outward, I’ve created this 1:1 Restoration Space to help you find the alignment rhythm of the life that you want:
And all of these have been passed way long ago, until recently, when I’ve acknowledged some individual old parts of me started to grow without me realizing it.
Secondly, this is the most visible script that my body just recognized: “Proving role.” I think it was coming from the familiarity that the body has understood its tasks to prove that I am doing something for myself. In contrast, the truth is that there is nothing to prove, because I am just living my life, writing, speaking, and creating. But the internal architecture is beneath the action when I’ve chosen to do that specific action.
By all means, this has been another piece of evidence of how much the body has been giving too much attention and energy to the world instead of herself. Because the goal here is a continuous embodiment of body evidence through this internal role, who chooses to experience a specific type of reality that she wants to make the body understand that this will become just one of those ordinary situations that I will have.
It puts me on the third point. Reality truly comes only from each role that you’ve consistently lived in through how you start to create your own rhythm of what is right and wrong in your eyes. It’s through a consistent mental muscle repetition of how you choose to make your decision that only comes from this part of you that you’ve built. It is about recreating a stimulative body state that came from how you’ve wanted this reality to bend and work, in a sense of how your body can internally feel it. Therefore, when you are in this season of becoming, currently in a state of working on the pace to make the body feel so familiar, I’ve created this Restoration Library for the rhythm that needs this practiced embodiment on its own:
It means to just focus on improving the quality of each part of your life that’s been waiting to get that new sensation state body evidence through how you simply let the expression itself only come from this inner role that stays inside your body through how you solely focus on the way you’ve wanted this to be played out.
The key here is each part of you that you’ve nurtured through the way you act that only comes from a place of yourself, not through the emotions, connection, or meaning that the mind has labelled it, but the inner you.
It was like this attention on what you’ve been doing that only came from each individual that you’ve been giving your body that piece of evidence, in the sense of putting yourself inside that specific environment, internal sensation, and that individual’s specific imagination.
The more that specific individual who you’ve let be the one who drives this body of yours, the more it will become the primary lens of your own reality. So, constantly dwelling on something that you think this world can truly offer you is such a waste of your time and energy, because the only thing that will exist is that repetition of the same stimulation and motion from different costumes but the same pattern cycle of decisions.
When I’ve been telling myself that you’re either repeating the same pattern or evolving, that just hits the part of my body just now. Through the decision that’s been giving so much comfort to me, whereas in reality itself this new version of who I am is becoming known deep down that she needs her new body, which is evidence of her way of living, to make it way more visible through my body to be recognized. Therefore, what I need to do is to simply become the vessel of this becoming, individual parts of me that I’ve currently embodied internally.
It’s the embodiment of how much you’ve mainly only entertained that storyline of who you are becoming in a way of the action and the way level of how you think about yourself, always constantly evolving and only coming from the way you choose to respond to this world. Which means not letting the world consume the way you behave, but you become the lighthouse through every decision that is only coming from yourself.
Decisions that only come from yourself mean that when the attention is no longer coming from your mind’s interpretation about this world’s expectation, but rather you already know internally how to act in the space that is only coming from who you are and how you choose to show up in that specific role of yours. It was like the power only appears from how much you’ve been living inside your body in that specific role without having this world raging over the way you behaved, and that is the real embodiment. It’s not just by thinking harder, self-awareness, and reflection, but the inner action that came from within. Therefore, I’ve created this 1:1 Restoration Space for a soul who is currently in this new chapter of unfamiliarity that needs soft guidance to be able to recognize each direction:
To have this courageous action to speak up about what you want, need, and prioritize. By letting the body feel safe when you have this unfamiliar situation and transition that the body hasn’t learned yet. It’s a constant process of improving each individual’s quality of themselves that only comes from within. So, to have your own dream is to stop chasing and start living, through a consistent inner certainty embodied through that specific nervous system that sounds like your future destination. A future that can become so much more visible needs to be practiced not just in some specific situation or experience, but in the repetition of motion itself that only came from this specific individual role that you’ve embodied internally. Nonetheless, I’ve created this podcast about the rhythm of life moving forward through the way you choose to show up for yourselves:
The mind’s might will give you this sense of longing through specific memories, faces, experiences, and novelty, but what makes it more powerful is when you just notice and immediately stay inside the ones that you’ve currently embodied for yourself.
Knowing that she is arriving, you can feel this continuous motion of who she is that you’ve let her stay inside it the whole time without needing to reaching for another external world’s pieces and bites, rather than each pieces and bites instead you’ve putting continuously back to your body as an evidences way of living that: “This is who we are now, and the life that we’ve currently built for ourselves”.
Arrival is when the only thing that exists now is to start creating your own narrative stories through the somatic body's inner feeling that comes from who you are right now. You have become the only thing that is moving and improving to the next destination that you want to have. It’s when the fear and doubt are no longer consuming your system, because each nervous system is already finding its own purpose inside your life.
The attention has become so narrowly focused on this embodiment of body movement that you’ve been continuously doing it for yourselves. The world’s no longer something that you’ve constantly needed to be on, look upon, and scan; rather, you’ve just been existing there and doing your own things. The story of your life becomes a beautiful canvas that you’ve currently drawn through you based on how you’ve filled your movement and action through the repetitive evidence that you put your body inside your own life.
The consciousness that only seeks the outer world will never end with this sense of satisfaction, rather become a constant starving animal that will never find what they actually looking for. But, a consciousness that sees something that caught their mind and starts doing the action from a place of knowing this will be mine, by not switching the mind and misinterpreting it with “This is not my passion anymore” or “I got bored,” rather than just continuously stay inside that action with this full inner certainty, will become the one who will earn the price that they’ve been holding on to.
That led me to a last point. To have a sense of self-control that the mind will put you through. Overstimulation in the mind will put the mammals inside our body in a constant state of starvation for quick hits that they can find wherever they are. It becomes like a constant scanning for something that can hit each part of their system over and over again. It means having this self-control over putting the attention back to the body when you know that it does not belong to this version of who I am now.
Maybe, to bring the attention to a sensation, cold and hot water, your own beliefs about who you are right now, the heaviness of the feet when you walk, your own breath; nonetheless, it shall come back to you as a gesture of body evidence of “You know who you are, and where your head at” It becomes the way you show up for your life, only coming from a place of working yourself towards the future that you have inside your vision. The world is no longer your priority; rather, it becomes your only messenger and facilitator of who you are.
So, speak only from a place of who you are and act from a repetition of the reality that you’ve currently built for yourselves. By letting your body understand that “This is the only reality that exists through us now.” By forgetting the rest and just sticking with one that sounds like your future destination, you are the only tool to let the universe know what you want to experience.
Your Subconscious Besties,
Liona
