There will always be a time when your awareness, body, and mind will be merged and become one, and that will be that pivot point going into that “self-acceptance” state, I would say… Nonetheless, at the end of the day, what I would want to say is you will be able to stand up for yourself no matter what is happening to you.
Anyway, today I will talk specifically about how to get to know yourself a little bit better. These past weeks, I haven’t been engaged much here, to be honest, except for expressing my situation through this writing. These couple of weeks have been such an interesting journey for me. I think I obviously met the rawest version of myself and relearnt how to nurture my spirit with extra care and love, which led me to discover a new “spiritual” journey era.
I remember the first moment before all this happened, when I was forcing myself into a situation I didn’t want to be in, yet still found myself there because of the “guilt” inside me. At least, that was the last memory of my mind's “freedom” sensation that I felt, and after that, somehow, “boom”. It was as if I moved immediately to a different timeline, a.k.a. a shocking, unexpected, chaotic situation that I knew, honestly, had just been made up by my “mind”. I couldn’t sleep, and something inside of me was just heavy and loud, wanting to be released, but I don’t know what the cause was… And it somehow turned me into some queen philosophy girly who tried to observe my own “mind”… That alone causes me an extra “heavy” sensation inside my body… It somehow led me to feel so tired, yet extremely alert…
And from that moment, the next thing I remember was my psychologist showing me how to be comfortable in my own body. What that meant was I learned how to bring back a “safety” through the sensations I feel and hear… From that, I relearned how to channel my energy through sensation, wherever I am. But this is not enough. It helped for just a couple of days, until the heaviness inside me started crawling back in, leading me to discover my spirit again and somehow guide me back to God or resources… The minute I turned back to God, all that heaviness immediately disappeared.
So your mind, body, and spirit will always be bonded and connected. From that, you need to know that the first thing you need to prioritise is to get your nervous system regulated. That nervous system can be regulated through breathwork, believing in something bigger or the resources (this is extremely important because I think when you become an “adult”, you will somehow end up having that belief system as “you need to become serious"; fear and doubt will try to lure you back in every single day, especially if you are surrounded by a survival-mode environment, and having a non-negotiable routine or ritual that your body can remember the feeling of “safety” is extremely important too). For example, you take yourself for a long walk to give your body a meaning, as “life is always moving forward”, or pray (my favourite thing) to give you that reassurance, or do something that you can bring everywhere. With your mind, you just have to stop feeding your mind with constant thoughts whenever a memory or something unpleasant comes up inside your mind (when you love to ghost something that you hate, do that to your mind; let your mind be abandoned; just use it when you need to think, learn, or plan things), and with your body, please treat your body as your temple because it is the only thing that you have.
Gosh…. What a story, right…
See, the thing I found is the most interesting is your body only remembers about “repetition with emotional certainty” that you put consistently into this world, and that’s what creates the reality that you have… The thing is, this story I just shared was simply created by my mind by using those old wiring thoughts and emotional validity again and again until it made me believe it was happening to me, while my awareness inside me knew that wasn't the case. It was really about that “emotional certainty” that I put into my mind a couple of weeks ago, simultaneously, that made me create this story… Did I regret it? Absolutely not. In fact, that “experience” has been the most unpredictable charm I’ve ever had. And also, I think this is what my brain needed to show me more of that evidence that my brain needed for the belief system that I’ve been created to be externalised into this world.
So to do that, you need to be fully conscious of what you do with your life. When you are fully aware, everything will become a recognition. You will be able to recognise that your mind’s job is either to create meaning, prediction loops, planning, memory, or thinking. And you, as an awareness or spirit, what you need to be focusing on is creating that same repetition using that emotional certainty consistently through every single activity that you do in your life. From that alone, you need to have a healthy environment, as we know, as the “body” that we have, so that you will be able to perform in your own world optimally.
Between you, me, and the moon….
The only thing you honestly just need to pay attention to is creating those repetitive patterns of the type of life that you want daily. It really can be as simple as taking yourself for a walk or any type of exercise first thing in the morning to give your “body” a heads up that "life is turning pages, whether we’re ready or still rereading the last chapter.” This is extremely important for your awareness to be able to recognise when your mind gives you an open loop that you still have from your previous situation. Secondly, by giving yourself healthy nutrition through your body because there is this term about “healthy body, healthy mind”… You want to minimise that starvation from your mind when you constantly abandon. Or, when you feel this will be “overwhelming”, you can always go in tune with your spirit that will lead you to “pray” or tell yourself, "Tomorrow will be an amazing day.” And lastly, it is to create and focus on what you feel passionate about. And the rest will be the universe, God, or resources that are handled.
You guys, these are the only things you need to care about on this planet. From that place, life will slowly reveal what was meant for you and what’s not. Also, from this place, you will see that you really have unlimited possibilities for anything you’ve wanted to have in your life.
Consider this a breadcrumb on your path, and may the rest of your week treat you like a favourite character. ♡
Your Subconscious Bestie,
Liona
