Hello, my loves ♡. You’ve just stepped into a space where reality is slightly negotiable. Emotions are treated like secret blueprints, and your inner voice is… let’s just say the main character.

This month has been such an interesting episode for me. Nor did I realize I’ve been living under my subconscious that I’ve coded 1 year ago, but I found a new internal realisation that might surprise you the most….

First things first, it started at the end of 2024. About me, I felt drawn to experience that manifestation because of that curiosity. Many creators said: “Thoughts can create reality," and “You should feel it as if it is yours”, “Forget about doubt and fear and stick with what you believe is true." All those things… That got my inner self feeling some type of way until I found Neville Goddard on YouTube, and I became even more invested in this experience. That was quite such an intense experience until one day, I woke up with no noise and just quiet eeriness inside my room, and I thought to myself, “What am I even doing?" and “Am I doing this wrong?" “I thought something ‘amazing’ would happen”… It wasn't until I realised a month ago, I felt something internally clicking, and I recognised my truest awareness that is living based on my script through the huge contrast of what I thought would make me something and what the reality is that I experience NOW.

2 years ago, when I started this, I was an Indonesian immigrant who had been raised for most of my entire life as someone who survived using doubt, fear, validation, status, and social approval. The only thing I knew was that success is measured by how much “outcome” you have, what “society status” labels humanity, and external appearance validation through this world. The only success I was able to see was if I got that degree or a specific course that this world approved as good; other than that, it would be counted as a misalignment.

And I did what Neville Goddard said about manifestation, which led me to where I am today. A full-time social media creator who's working for me has her own business and has been writing her own book right now! This leads me to something else, which is a different layer of fear and doubt that I didn’t realise I had with me before. The thing is, after you pass that bridge, everything will be neutral, unless you put that meaning into it, and I didn’t know at first because I used to label everything based on intensity and that society outcome… So, when everything became neutral, and I ended up in this situation before, I took that as a failure. The thing is, the sensation that I can feel is another “calm inevitable state” or “emptiness” that I mistakenly interpret as “something is wrong” rather than “everything is fine, you are just being dramatic hahaha…

That’s where I realised I was living in that new reality that I used to imagine in 2024, where my life used to be in that chaotic, drama-filled, full-of-fear and doubt-filled experience.

The secret sauce I want to share with you guys is that emotions are beneath everything you do in this life experience of yours. Emotions are the Wi-Fi that you give your subconscious about something that you want to experience more. Your subconscious never knows what is right or wrong as your mind does; it can only detect what you constantly feel you reproduce during the day, which keeps you alive. That story that I was able to share with you because of that used to be a constant worry and fear that I reproduced in my mind, which made me feel that way, hence why the reality was simply gathering those feelings like little postcards and building a life that looked exactly like them.

So, the only way to change it is to truly “live” through the experience you have right now as someone who already lives in that identity, by training your attention more towards the fulfillment of those emotions in having the type of life you imagined. And the only thing to do is to figure out the life pattern that you’ve been following in your life experience. Is it based on survival, or on fully inhabiting the version of you who already lives it?

When you are already fully aware of where and how your brain most likely gives you instructions, you can channel your energy forward into something that you truly desire. For me, it really started because of that constant feeling of what I felt that I never liked and how my parents always constantly talked about “what if" and “you always need to have a plan A, B, C." From that, when i hear about what Neville Goddard said about “feeling and living as someone who already received that", it really stoked my soul and makes my curiosity to make that assumption really work… And one day, I started to see my old reflex subconscious movement, or when my body immediately wants to grab that specific thing, where my awareness doesn’t even want that, or when my body immediately shrinks or goes into that fear sensation, when nothing is actually happening… The truth that I will never forget is "humans adapt”. That’s one of the superpowers that we have… So whatever is happening to you right now, it just means that it was simply based on what you believe – that’s who you are.

Another word that always keeps replaying in my mind is when my mind took me out of my sight, and my awareness immediately whispered, “Back into the character", and I immediately snapped my way back into living. See, the mind is basically built based on the inner daily guidance that you planted each day. So, when I found myself feeling empty, I immediately reminded myself that this is not the character you’ve wanted to play… Your main character is “a successful writer who is living her best life”. That alone shaped my emotions back in that situation until one day it just became your default system in your subconscious. Or, when I started seeing that old reflex start to crawl back to take my awareness back, I gently lit a candle to set the mood, and my awareness immediately became able to notice the smell and return to me. My favourite thing to do is drinking that chocolate almond in my favourite glass while listening to a late-night R&B afro with that smell of my favourite scent. It is really more about how to gently give your awareness that a new version of “safety” or a type of life that you want to be counted as meaningful.

You want to keep your fulfillment emotions as your main character that leads reality to bend based on what you believe – that’s who you are. Make fulfillment your main character, and reality will begin to bend towards its storyline. You just need to have this awareness of who you truly are, your memories, and what you are constantly paying attention to by using those thoughts and emotions that will be sent through your subconscious to be reproduced and gently woven into a storyline you don’t just think about but live inside of.

So maybe nothing was ever “missing” from you in the first place… You were just rehearsing a character you didn’t realise you had the power to rewrite. And now, here you are, sitting in the quiet awareness that your life is not something you chase but something that responds. The awareness that you’ve been waiting for you to be able to leads you, instead, to what you need, which is to let go of the version of you that keeps trying to control the outcome. And simply watch how everything else begins to follow, as if reality itself finally received the memo. 🕯️

Your Subconscious Bestie,

Liona